Wedding Etiquette and a Book Review

Weddings…does any one event conjure up more questions about etiquette?  The first thing my mother did when I became engaged was buy a wedding book about the “Do’s” and “Do Nots”.  I did the same for both of my daughters.

Why then, is today’s first featured photo of the delightful new cozy mystery “Waiting for the Detectives”, (available May 23, 2017), by the lovely Julie Mulhern? (Pictured below)

 

Well…let me back-peddle a little… I recently saw several ads for Julie’s “Country Club Mysteries”.  Each book looked like a fun read, so I ordered the first in the series, “The Deep End”.  I was hooked.  By the time I had read 50 pages, I just had to order the second in the series, “Guaranteed  to Bleed”.  What was it that made the books so enticing?  Many things.  They’re funny, (at times laugh-out-loud!), well-written, never drag, and…set in the ’70’s!  I love that era, partly because I grew up then.  I think perhaps I was born in the wrong time.  I think I would have fit right into Ellison Russell’s, (our heroine), world.  She’s beautiful, chic, rich, and most importantly, a strong woman.  And yes, the country club scene is a big part of Ellison’s life.  And don’t do messing with etiquette in Ellison or her mother, Frances’, orbit!

I would love to plan Ellison’s wedding, (of course she is tangled in a love triangle!), but she would need no help.  I imagine it would be something classic and old-fashioned like the photo above (which just happens to be of my daughter and son-in-law 🙂 ).

Here’s a little blurb from Barnes and Noble about “Watching the Detectives”

“Ellison Russell wanted a decorator, not a corpse. Too bad she finds Mrs. White in the study killed with a revolver. Things go from bad to worse when she finds Mr. White in the dining room killed with a candlestick. With so many bodies, is it any wonder Detective Anarchy Jones’s new partner considers Ellison a suspect? With the country club gossips talking a mile a minute, an unexpected cocktail party, a visit from Aunt Sis, and a romantic decision, Ellison hardly has time to think about murder. Unfortunately, the killer has plenty of time to think about her.”

Did I like this latest in the “Country Club Mystery” series?  No…I LOVED it…  Click on any of the links above if you’d like more info on obtaining your own copy of one of these great reads.  AND if you’d like a chance to win an AUTHOR  SIGNED copy…leave a comment on this post.  🙂

Wedding Invitations – Are You Ready For New Social Mores?

Wedding Invitations – are you ready for the new social mores?  Remember, your wedding invitation is your guests’ first glimpse into your wedding style.  You want to do it right.  With all the new couplings, you want to make sure you address your invites properly.  The chart below is very comprehension and a good reference.

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But what about the wording of the invitation?  With blended families, divorced parents, the new trend of the groom’s family contributing to the wedding, things can get muddled.  Another helpful chart follows:

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And another informative chart of appropriate invitations wordings below.

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But don’t just stop with your invitation.  Remember to also order your thank you cards when you order your invitations.  Do they have to match or share the theme of your invites?  NO.  But order or purchase them asap.  And try to write the thank yous as soon as the gifts come in.  A common theme I’ve seen among couples is a stand-off regarding thank you notes.  The bride puts her foot down and takes a stand.  She “Will NOT write all the thank you notes!”  Her groom is going to do half. Guess what?  Those thank yous keep getting put off, because really, no one likes to do them.  And let’s face it, someone is going to do the heavy lifting on this one.  Get it done.  It just reflects badly on both of you if you delay.  A cute idea… one of my daughters and sons-in-law wrote a few thank yous after the wedding, and included a photo of them using the wedding gift.  Talk about a hit!  The guests loved this!

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And what to say?  Check out the nice formula above.  Remember, your guests put time, thought, and generous funds into your gift.  It’s thoughtful to respond in kind.

Wedding Guest Tips Part III

More tips on being a good Wedding Guest!

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Follow direction.  More and more brides are deciding to have photos taken BEFORE the wedding ceremony.  This means the party WITH the bride and groom can begin immediately!  If you are requested to find your seat at the reception site as soon as the couple is pronounced “Man and Wife” then do so.  Do not wander over to the bar and demand a cocktail.  If the bar’s closed, it’s closed.  It’s very hard for an catering employee to refuse a guest, so don’t abuse your power.

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I’ve been guilty of this one.  If the wedding dinner is a buffet, don’t serve yourself up as if it’s all you can eat night at “Golden Corral”.  Remember, the hosts of the reception have paid a “per head price” for each and every guest and an unlimited supply of food is not available.  Think before you serve yourself.

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If you are a smoker, please respect the hosts’ and venue’s non-smoking/smoking areas.  Most venues make accommodations for smokers.  And if you partake of “smokeless tobacco” products, follow the rules for them as well.  And please, just because you may be out of doors, (either at the outdoor venue, or smoking area), this is not an invitation to ground out your refuse wherever you may be.

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Provided you are assigned a table, and most hosts choose to do so, find it as soon as you enter the venue.  Set yourself up, and use this as your home base.  Do you use others’ tables.  I know it may be convenient to place your purse or drink, (or even used ‘Cocktail Hour’ “treats”), on someone else’s table, but don’t.  It’s bad form on more that one level.

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And the photo above?  Well, I just really liked the flowers and wanted to share them with you.  🙂

 

 

 

More Wedding Guest Tips

 

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Do you want to be a good wedding guest?  Well, make sure you get your response card in on time…and oh, yes, make sure you write your name on the response card.  True story, we received this card for my daughter Kathleen’s wedding.  Good tip…number the cards, (notice the number “68” in the lower left hand corner), and write the number of each card next to the each guest’s name.  That way, if someone “forgets” to write their name on their card, you know who responded.

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Photo creds: Patty Cloherty

According to the knot.com, arrive at least 30 minutes before the wedding is due to begin.  But wait to be seated by the groomsmen or ushers.  Old time etiquette?  The ushers seat the ladies, much like the photo above, and if she is accompanied by a husband or date, he follows behind.    Traditionally, the first few rows are reserved for immediate family members.

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www.mattdavisphotography.co.uk

True Story: I was a guest at a wedding recently.  Two women arrived after the bride had entered the church.  The ladies just walked in front of her and seated themselves.  Now it happens.  We’ve all been late to important events.  If you ARE late, just wait until the procession enters the church or other venue, and then quietly sit in the back.

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Photo creds: Hannah Colt Photos

How long to stay?  Well, the knot.com and I agree…stay at the wedding reception at least until the cake is cut.  And when you make your departure, try to find at least one family member, if not the bride and groom, and thank them for their hospitality and wish them well.

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Glamor.com cautions to sign the guest book (make a point to round it up if you don’t see it immediately). And please remember to take the favor the  bride and groom so generously have provided for you.