Bridesmaid Duties

Bridesmaid duties … real or ceremonial? Have you heard about the Bride who “fired” one of her bridesmaids via email?  The rejected bridesmaid then shared the email on twitter.  I just glanced at a few tweets, and the bride was crucified by other tweeters!  What do you think about it?

I probably am one of the few who was on the side of the bride.  While I would encourage any daughter of mine, or client NOT to “fire” an attendant, fact is, the “Twitter Bridesmaid” wasn’t doing her job. Based on the email to the bridesmaid, which she shared on twitter, (how’s that for a friend? Even though she blacked out the bride’s last name, everyone in their social circle knew who she was), the “fired” bridesmaid did absolutely nothing for the bride in her role as honor attendant.  When asked to be an attendant, the young lady should have thanked the bride prettily, and declined the honor.  If you don’t have the time or the money to be a bridesmaid, gracefully decline.  Because being a wedding attendant is expensive and time consuming.  You are expected to buy your own dress, shoes, gifts, (shower, bachelorette, and wedding), and travel.  (The bride should spring for your housing the night before the wedding and the night of the wedding however).  You should do your best to attend ALL pre-wedding events – but the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, wedding… UNTIL THE END, are non-negotiable.  If you can’t be at those events, you shouldn’t be a bridesmaid. Period.

According to the brief email, the “fired” bridesmaid shared on twitter, it appeared that she attended no pre-wedding events, (I took it to include the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, but could be wrong), and wanted to fly back before the reception was over.  Again, if the bride were my daughter or client, I’d encourage her to suck it up and deal with the lack-luster bridesmaid; but the twitter bride was well within her scope of expectations to “fire” her friend.  As for the email, she probably thought things would be less heated via the written word, and she offered to speak if the bridesmaid desired.

Perhaps “Bridesmaidzillas” are why some brides are opting to have only family members as honor attendants, (as one of my daughters did),  or have no bridesmaids at all. Perhaps that’s why the English use children?  …less temperamental than grown women.  I think Brides today are trying to make it easier on their attendants.  Note the photo above.  The bride from this wedding I did allowed her attendants to wear dresses they felt good in.  The colors were not even expected to be in the same color palate.

Moral…Brides be sensitive to the costs, both monetary and time, to your attendants; and bridesmaids, say “No, but thank you,” if you can’t do the job.

 

The Infinity Bridesmaid Dress

The Infinity Bridesmaid Dress – one dress, so many options!  The attire for brides’ attendants in the last couple of years has made a dramatic change.  No long must ladies’ dresses match.  Brides are being very generous to their attendants.  They are allowing them to choose the fabric, style, color and price point that best fits their needs. Usually, a color palate is suggested.  But all else is up for grabs.

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And what do I mean about an “Infinity” dress?  Well, take a look at the above photo and all the options for it!  Pick your neckline, back, sleeves or no sleeves…I love it! Not your favorite, well, look at all the other options on this post!  The dresses in the next photo are all different, yet they have the same air.  They all have gauzy, floaty skirts, but differing necklines and colors.  The hues flow and compliment each other.

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Feeling a little more glam?  Love the beauties below. These gowns would definitely be for an evening affair.  I think it works to have differing hemlines as well.  Perhaps one lady has great legs and wants to show them off — opt for a short skirt!  Have a generous bustling  you’re proud of?  Choose one with a more plunging neckline.  It’s a win-win for all.

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The next two photos have ladies dressed in all the same color, but differing styles.  This works for me.  And I think these girls really COULD wear their dresses again!  If you look closely, the bouquets the ladies in red are varying as well.

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Love the yellow color below.  But I think long gowns for bridesmaids is on the way out.  Especially with a light informal color such as the yellow.  I see this hue as a light casual spring/summer wedding.  Lovely.

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Lots of Bridesmaid Dress Options

Ah… the bridesmaid dress … we women all have strong thoughts about this attire.  We’ve all worn them.  I truly think in my generation, brides picked the ugliest dresses so their bridesmaids did not outshine them… 🙂

In the last five years, the bridesmaids’ uniform has morphed, I think for the better.  Now, the dress is something ladies truly CAN wear again!  Remember, ladies of a certain age?  We all promised our friends, “…and you can wear it again!” As we showed our bridesmaids the less than attractive dress.  The same dress all the girls could be wearing to the same future event.

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What do you think of the two photos above?  I personally love the two piece option!  And I think the netting skirts are lovely – although really, not wearable again…  I love the options brides are giving their maids, that of choosing dresses similar, but different either in style or color.  That way, different body types are considered.  While the dresses below seem to match, the bodices and colors are different.

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Modern brides are even going as far as to let their friends wear whatever they can afford AND feel good in.  Look at the photos above and below. While I wouldn’t go as far as to say the above photo dresses flow, I DO think the bottom colors and styles work well together.

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Mary P. Karnes photos

Love love the next two photos.  The top photo is from a wedding I worked this summer.  The bride had her maids dress in pastels and her honor attendants in a darker shade.  Lovely.  And the bottom photo is from one of my favorite posts, Rustic Wedding Done Right .  Click on the link if you’d like to read about it.  While not the same dress or shade, the dresses work with a complimentary color palate.  Exquisite.

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Photo contributed by bride’s family friend.